What a day! WHAT A YEAR!!
My birthday was April 4th. 36 flip-flops around the sun. Wow. How did that happen?
I'm feeling f**ing great about it, by the way and thank you very much. I don't have one iota of fear of aging. I'm loving it, and I don't feel it in my body bc I take such good care of it. (I obsessively research health and wellness by listening to podcasts and youtube while i paint...for hours. It's kinda ridiculous actually.)
Truly, I have to say, each year is better since I turned 30. Each is even wilder, further beyond my hopes and dreams, and more seemingly more 'me.' I have a LOT of thoughts on why that started to happen at 30, many of which are lifestyle changes, mental and physical/metaphysical shifts, some are HUGE, universal realisations. But I won't elaborate on those here because i'm writing about all that in a book I started a few weeks ago...
Wait, WHAT!??! A book?!? I'm writing a BOOK?? Yes! It's already happening. Woah. Never ever did I vision myself a writer, but....like a freight train, it suddenly started rolling out of me one day. I literally had the download come into the core of my being with crystal clarity after a deep meditation. I had visions of the cover, the title, the index, even the picture of me on the bio page on the inner leaflet of the back cover. Huh. I thought to myself at the time - actually, i was riding my bike when it came in - and i said aloud to myself "What? A book? Holy Sh*t. I thought i'd just start small, like a blog or something..." But no. I was shown that the messages are important, they are numerous and that this work is foundational to my being and to my path as a creative empowerment facilitator/coach and so it's essential to write about my experiences as reflections for my clients in the future. In my 36 years, I've already had a tremendous journey in terms of having to start at ground zero to reconnect with my self/spirit/creative. I had to live these hard lessons and learn from them in order to live my higher purpose: my passion for helping people reconnect with their inner creative fire, deeper aspects of themselves (and thereby others) and to nature. It's from this place, from the desire to help others, that I'm writing this book. I think it might be called "The Fire Within." It'll be somewhat autobiographical, but only insofar as I give context to the teachings and practices I'd like to offer.
This is also an exercise in healing for me. I still struggle to show up (as I wrote about in a previous entry) and so to offer my inner dialogue and life experience openly AND to suggest that I have things to say are big steps. I still battle the feeling that writing a blog - let alone a book! - is somehow egotistical; that little voice in the back of my head says loudly, "no one is gonna want to read this; how dare you think you know anything! What makes you think have anything worthwhile to say?" And so, the self-doubt script runs, as it has since I was a little girl....but now I have the tools to counter it, to observe the voice, flip the script and replacing it with the "I'm worthy" version. Ah, much better. And on I go, writing away happily...(It's these kinds of lessons that I had to learn and embody the hard way when I realised I wasn't living the life I wanted at 30, when I detonated it and started again, creating the life I always wanted and so much happier along the way!)
I'm going to write about the book and my other endeavours more on my Patreon page, so please check it out in the not-so-distant future if you're interested. (WARNING: PATREON PLUG COMING...!)
If, and only if, you feel moved to, I'd reaaaaally LOVE and SUPER APPRECIATE any contribution you feel called to fund this or my other endeavours through my Patreon account (www.Patreon.com -> search 'Mary Pines'). Your contributions will enable me to keep doing all the things I'm doing, many of which are good-will or community projects that have not yet/won't be pay me by conventional means. Please check out my Patreon page to find out what else I'm up to, keep informed of progress and contribute if you feel called. Thank you thank you THANK YOU in advance!
That's all for now...finishing off a commission today! What a way to start a new year!
BIG LOVE, family! <3